About 100 adults and youths came to a vigil at the steps of Town Hall Tuesday night to bring attention to domestic violence in our society and to honor 11 individuals in Connecticut who died from domestic violence in the past year.
Stratford police Deputy Chief Joseph McNeil said domestic incidents are the most frequent calls the department gets, they respond to two or three every day, and it is mandatory that two officers respond to each.
According to Debra Greenwood, president of the Center for Family Justice, which organized the vigil, every nine seconds in this country a person is a victim of abuse. She described domestic violence as a “horrific disease.”
Mayor John Harkins said the Center for Family Justice had 480 cases of domestic violence in Stratford during 2013.
McNeil and Greenwood spoke of the danger involved when police respond to a domestic violence call.
“It is our most dangerous call,” the deputy chief said. “You are in someone’s house where you are not wanted.”
Greenwood explained that there could be children and weapons in the house, and the situations are emotional, which makes them dangerous.
Police Chief Patrick Ridenhour told the assembly that domestic violence incidents are the most difficult for police, because, he said, in five, 10 or 15 minutes the police need to detach two emotionally connected people, defuse a hostile situation and sometimes tend to the injured.
He added that domestic violence calls are the ones that many police officers tend to remember the most because “we feel helpful and helpless at the same time.”
The chief said domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, socio-economic status, or gender.
Efforts to reduce the violence
Ridenhour proposed that society undertake education programs, like what was done to get people to wear seat belts years ago and those being done now to combat drinking and texting while driving.
State Rep. Terry Backer said he teaches people throughout life not to carry anger, because “Your anger will defeat you every time.” He challenged the professionals to combat domestic violence by looking at the root causes, such as, possibly, false pride and entitlement.
State Sen. Andres Ayala told the vigil gathering, “It’s not OK to use our hands to hurt other people.” He said it is important to have services for victims all in one location, as the Center for Family Justice has in Bridgeport, where there are police, legal, and physical and mental wellness services.
CFJ has a satellite office in the Birdseye Municipal Complex here.
Attendees also heard about a correlation between school-age bullying and domestic violence. A bully is four times more likely to become engaged in domestic violence, and if a bully is not stopped by age 25 the person is likely to become an abuser, speakers said.
“To the victims and survivors” of domestic violence, said Mayor Harkins, “you are not alone. We are here to help, support and assist you.”
State Rep. Laura Hoydick said, “The victims who come forward are very strong,” and their strength may come from family and friends.
“We all have it in us” to be part of a victim’s support group,” she said.
